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    嘗試和疑惑

    時間:2019-06-30 10:25:31  作者:  來源  查看:0
    嘗試和疑惑

    起初到新老師那里學習,媽媽也沒有太多煩惱。每次回家練習的時候,媽媽會為洋洋安排好時間,要求她新曲子練習四五遍,再把前面學習的曲子復習一遍。那個時候洋洋還聽話,雖然有時候不太樂意,但媽媽說練習幾遍就幾遍。

    后來媽媽跟洋洋進行自我設定獎懲規則教育,這個教育最終以洋洋的逆反失敗。起初建立規則時,洋洋很努力地遵循著。但是到后來洋洋似乎變得蠻不講理,不再遵循自己制定的規則。經過反思,媽媽認為是因為洋洋在遵循規則時壓抑了自己一段時間導致了反彈。

    總之,在這個規則教育失敗后,洋洋彈鋼琴,比以前更讓媽媽操心了,總讓媽媽覺得她是勉強完成任務,甚至連任務也不愿意完成,始終沒有建立起自己的主動性。媽媽開始思索改變。媽媽想洋洋不喜歡練習鋼琴,歸根結底是因為她彈奏的音符沒有變成她心中的思想和感情。

    一天晚上洋洋彈鋼琴的時候,媽媽建議她多彈幾遍,媽媽來為她的鋼琴曲寫歌詞。孩子于是開心地把每一句彈給媽媽聽了很多遍。母女一起為幾首鋼琴曲編寫了歌詞,邊彈邊唱。那天洋洋非常開心,說自己那天晚上是在快樂地彈鋼琴。

    但是這種方法不能每天都使用,畢竟練習的鋼琴曲不可能每天都是新的,很多曲子都需要反復練習很多天。不可能天天都有新曲子編歌詞。而且媽媽擔心在編歌詞和唱歌詞的過程中洋洋彈鋼琴的注意力分散了,不能很好的集中精力練琴。于是這種方式媽媽只進行了一次。現在看來,這種方式還可以繼續下去,以每周一次為宜,其他時候還是要注意讓洋洋進行技巧的練習。

    洋洋學習鋼琴的熱情總顯得有點薄弱。一天晚上,媽媽想了一個新的方式,試圖調動孩子的彈琴熱情。媽媽對洋洋說:“今天晚上我們來開鋼琴演奏會吧。你把自己當鋼琴家,媽媽和外公做聽眾,你彈奏動人的樂曲給我們聽吧。并且你還可以自己當主持人,每彈完一曲就給觀眾介紹一下自己彈的內容。”洋洋非常高興地當起了小小主持人和小小演奏家。媽媽也非常著迷地當起了“好”聽眾。每當洋洋彈完一曲,媽媽總會熱情地鼓掌和贊美“我們的鋼琴家彈得真好,非常動人,手型也非常漂亮”。媽媽甚至像一個真正的歌迷一樣,拿一些東西假裝成鮮花獻給小小鋼琴家。可洋洋在彈的過程中,媽媽發現有一些曲子洋洋彈得不夠熟練。媽媽很希望洋洋再將自己不熟悉的曲子多練習幾遍。但是媽媽了解洋洋的性格,她只喜歡彈自己喜歡的曲子,彈得不熟練的曲子多半是她不喜歡的,不喜歡的曲子很難讓她重復去練習。媽媽于是希望不直接說出來,而是用不動聲色的方式讓孩子自愿去練習一下不熟練的曲子。當洋洋把整本書上這段時間學過的鋼琴曲都練習了一遍之后,媽媽對洋洋說,“現在是我們的點曲子時間,由聽眾來點自己喜歡聽的曲子,我們的鋼琴家來演奏,好嗎?”洋洋果真回答“好”。媽媽趕緊點那幾首洋洋彈得不好的曲子,為了不讓她發現,同時點了一首她最喜歡的曲子。洋洋最初并沒有什么異議,她進了書房,拿出鉛筆把媽媽點的曲子圈起來。接下來媽媽以為洋洋要彈琴了。可是洋洋突然卻去拿了一些小玩具,對媽媽說:“媽媽,你拿一本書給我,注意哦,要拿你喜歡的書給我,等下我要丟給你接著。”媽媽不知道這孩子葫蘆里究竟賣的什么藥,媽媽心里很著急,因為洋洋每晚的時間都很寶貴。做了作業要練習鋼琴,而媽媽多么希望洋洋能彈完鋼琴再運動一會兒,睡覺前還能閱讀一下課外書。這么拖拉下去,連睡覺都要晚。媽媽于是說:“我們快點彈點奏曲子呀,彈完再玩。”沒想到洋洋的臉一瞬間就晴轉陰了。她生氣道“:為什么你點的曲子都是我不喜歡的曲子?”“我說媽媽是按自己愛好的曲子來點的呀。”“為什么要點彈?”“鋼琴演奏會是可以點彈的呀。”“不可以,我們在成都聽的都沒有點彈。”“有啊,當鋼琴家彈完的時候,聽眾不是說再來一曲再來一曲,他就又彈了好幾曲才下去的嗎?”“那他彈的也不是觀眾點的,而是自己喜歡的。”“那好吧,你彈自己喜歡的吧。或者彈一曲自己喜歡的,再彈一曲媽媽喜歡的。”可媽媽無論怎么說,洋洋的臉都不再陰轉晴了。媽媽后來實在沒轍,只好把自己的意圖說了出來。媽媽生氣地說:“的確媽媽點的都是你不熟練的曲子,因為媽媽覺得練習鋼琴應該以練習自己不熟練的為主,我們主要目的是把不熟練的練熟,當然喜歡的練得更好也是不錯的。如果你覺得媽媽的這種想法不對,那你可以打電話問問老師是不是該這樣?”可是無論媽媽怎么解釋,洋洋一直哭泣,始終不愿意再練琴。媽媽非常生氣地說:“媽媽聽得這么認真,這么乖的聽眾,你為什么不能再練習一下給媽媽聽呢?”“你哪里是好聽眾嘛,你就知道說彈得好,根本不是好聽眾。”媽媽詫異了,她一直認為洋洋最喜歡夸獎,但是沒想到夸獎她,她也不滿意了。實際上盡管媽媽不懂鋼琴,但媽媽還是真心喜歡看和聽洋洋彈琴,聽到她流暢的音樂媽媽心里就會覺得快樂,看到她靈活的手指媽媽也非常開心,看到她指形漂亮,媽媽更快樂。
    鋼琴演奏會最終不歡而散。媽媽內心充滿委屈,媽媽覺得自己是一個用心的母親,但是這么用心,結果換來的卻總是失敗。媽媽傷心極了。最近一段時間,洋洋更加敏感,情緒變化很大,動不動就生氣,讓媽媽覺得好累。
    但是后來媽媽冷靜下來,發現錯的還是自己。甚至后來,媽媽發現一條定律,孩子永遠也沒錯。錯誤的永遠是長輩,孩子的一切缺點都是大人的不當教育造成的。就拿演奏會的事情來說,洋洋說得沒錯,演奏會上鋼琴家是不會讓你隨便點曲子的。作為一個觀眾,媽媽只知道說彈得好,卻無法指出具體好在哪里,對于一個聰明的孩子而言,這樣的贊美是遠遠不夠的,是不用心的,是敷衍的,甚至是言不由衷的。洋洋雖然只有7歲,但是卻異常聰明,她已經有了自己的獨立見解。這是一個特別的孩子,媽媽只有加倍用心去呵護。企圖用家長的權威去壓制她內心的想法是很愚蠢的。

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