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    我心中的英雄

    時間:2019-07-02 20:07:50  作者:  來源  查看:0
    我心中的英雄
    張瑀函
    每個人心中都有一位頂天立地的英雄,而我也有一個人,幾乎全中國人民都認識他,這也更加讓我崇敬他,他叫鄧稼先。【評:開篇點題,人所共知的英雄,更讓“我”敬佩。】
    鄧稼先于1924年,出生在安徽省懷寧縣,他在北平讀的小學和中學,于1945年自昆明西南聯大畢業。1948年到1950年,赴美國普渡大學讀理論物理,獲得博士學位后,立即乘船回國。1950年10月,到中國科學院工作。1958年8月,奉命帶領幾十個大學畢業生,開始研究原子彈制造的理論。【評:介紹鄧稼先的簡歷。】
    這以后的28年間,鄧稼先始終站在中國原子武器設計制造和研究的第一線,領導許多學者和技術人員,成功地設計了中國的原子彈和氫彈,把中華民族國防自衛武器引導到了世界先進水平。【評:重點研究“兩彈”。】
    1964年10月16日,中國爆炸了第一顆原子彈;1967年6月17日,中國爆炸了第一顆氫彈。這些日子是中華民族五千年歷史上的重要日子,是中華民族完全擺脫任人宰割危機的新生日子!【評:強調研究成功的時間。】
    1967年以后,鄧稼先繼續他的工作,至死不懈,對國防武器作出了許多新的巨大貢獻。【評:評價他的貢獻。】
    “鞠躬盡瘁,死而后已”,正好準確描述了他的一生。鄧稼先是中華民族核武器事業的奠基人和開拓者。張愛萍將軍稱他是“兩彈”元勛,他是當之無愧的。(那是因為他)領導許多學者和技術人員,成功地設計了中國的原子彈和氫彈,把中華民族國防自衛武器引導到了世界先進水平,由于他對中國核科學事業做出了偉大貢獻,因此被稱為“兩彈”元勛。【評:語句與上段重復,故刪除。】
    我們常說成功的男人都離不開那個背后默默付出的女人,而成為中國原子彈之父的鄧稼先背后的那個女人卻艱辛得多。這一點(鄧稼先的夫人)許鹿希深有體會。鄧稼先從1958年接受研制原子彈開始,便如人間蒸發一樣,整整28年,他隱姓埋名。進入了與世隔絕的戈壁灘。【評:為了祖國,舍小家,舍去名利。】
    這是一個偉大的靈魂,把自身與所愛的事業、所愛的國家緊緊地聯系在一起,置個人生命、家庭幸福于不顧,把為國家、為事業的奉獻作為自身最高尚的幸福。他為核武器的研發奮斗,為國家的未來奮斗,亦是為民族的尊嚴奮斗。即使是在生命的盡頭,也竭盡全力,為祖國獻上一片赤誠。【評:談體會。】
    這種大愛將世世代代被中華民族所銘記,鄧稼先()就是我們心中的一座豐碑。
    評語
    文章講述了鄧稼先舍去名利,遠離小家,別離妻兒,到戈壁沙漠研究兩彈的事跡。事跡講述得很有條理,有敘述有評價,事跡感人至深,很有條理,步步深入。不足:感受寫得少,體會寫得不夠。
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