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    勤勞的小燕子

    時間:2019-06-29 17:15:01  作者:  來源  查看:0

    勤勞的小燕子
     張瑀函
    在大自然中,天鵝是人人皆知的善航行者,蝶娥是美麗的舞者,蜘蛛是大名鼎鼎的智者。在浩瀚的宇宙里、在和諧的大地上、在美麗的城市里、在溫暖的家庭里,都會有不起眼的動物。它們有的很勤勞,那我今天介紹的這位就是勤勞的小燕子。【評:排比句寫出了勤勞的動物無處不在。】
    小燕子人人皆知,它雖不會游泳,也不會跳舞,也不是大名鼎鼎的智者,但是它的勤勞誰也比不上。它,也許你會在房檐下發現,但是只不過三分熱血,看幾眼就罷了,誰又真心去留意它,觀察它呢?【評:雖然小燕子與別的小動物相比,有很多不如的地方,但勤勞非它莫屬。】
    而我仔細觀察了小燕子。它壘窩,使用一些枯樹枝和一些枯草來打好基礎,然后在上面抹上一些泥巴,當然需要風(來把泥巴吹干)。三天后,只見一個精巧的窩就構好了。我用手摸過那個窩,很結實,很不容易弄破。有幾天,我發現又有一只新燕子在原來的那只燕子窩旁飛。那正是春季,原來的那只燕子在窩中臥著,哦,是在產小燕子寶寶呢!【評:介紹壘窩的辛勞和窩的結實。】
    過了一些日子,已是初夏,蜻蜓在小區里飛著,密密麻麻的,這可讓小燕子爸爸媽媽的愁眉舒展開了。燕子爸爸媽媽一起出動去捉蜻蜓,拿回來的有小有大,小的大多數就被幼燕吃了,而大的如果到了極大,小燕子就選擇放棄,給爸爸媽媽吃,(多么和諧,)多可愛(的一家人)呀!【評:爸爸媽媽不辭辛苦去捉蟲。】
    第二天,只見燕窩底下全部都是奄奄一息的大蜻蜓,我過去拿了一只,只見它還在撲楞著翅膀,我便放它飛了。不到一秒鐘,燕子突然沖出來,繞一圈后只見有一只蜻蜓在它嘴里。哇!燕子真是神速呀!過了10多天,我再去看它時,(窩)不見了一只燕子的蹤影(,小燕子寶寶翅膀硬了,飛去出去獨立生活了)……【評:將飛走的蜻蜓又捉了回來。】
    回憶那一刻,我希望小燕子繼續用自己勤勞的汗水來培澆育下一代,(它那勤奮的精神,真令人欽佩)小燕子也永遠會在我眼前。不論時光流逝多久,不論歲月留下多少痕跡,這(場景將)永遠都是我最美好的回憶。(通榆縣第二實驗小學六年五班 張瑀函)
    本篇習作,重點介紹了小燕子的勤勞,雖然“它不會游泳,也不會跳舞,也不是大名鼎鼎的智者,但是它的勤勞誰也比不上”。小作者從兩個方面來講述了小燕子的勤勞:一是壘窩。“它壘窩,使用一些枯樹枝和一些枯草來打好基礎,再在上面抹上一些泥巴,當然需要風來把泥巴吹干。三天后,只見一個精巧的窩就構好了。我用手摸過那個窩,很結實,很不容易弄破”;二是捉蟲。“小燕子寶寶的爸爸爸媽一起出動捉蜻蜓,拿回來的有小有大,小的大多數就被幼燕吃了,而大的如果到了極大,小燕子就選擇放棄,給爸爸媽媽吃,多么和諧,多可愛的一家人呀!”用生動具體的事例,表現了小燕子的特點——勤勞。用事實說話,好!
    上一篇:沒有了 下一篇:我的動物朋友
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