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    秋天的音樂

    時間:2019-06-30 19:37:05  作者:  來源  查看:0
    秋天的音樂

    秋風“沙沙”刮著,樹上的葉子像蝴蝶一樣的飄落下來,地上(已經)落了一層厚厚的樹葉,像鋪上一層金黃的地毯,人們踩在上面,發出沙沙沙的響聲,就像一首優美的音樂,好聽極了。【評:描寫秋風吹落樹葉的情景。】
    “嘩嘩……”下起了一陣秋雨,一場秋雨一場寒,天更(涼)冷了。草枯萎了,花兒謝了,大地一片凋零,沒有了生機,人們穿上了秋裝,河邊的青蛙再也不叫了,鉆進了泥土里,準備冬眠。【評:寫秋雨過后,大地凋零的情景。】
    田野里一片金黃,秋風吹來,谷子低著頭彎著腰,發出“沙沙”的響聲,好像在說:“我已經成熟了,快把我收回家吧!”再看那火紅的高粱,像喝醉酒的漢子,臉紅彤彤的,腳都站不穩,東倒西歪的,相互碰撞著,發出細小的聲響,好像在說著悄悄話;再看那玉米,伸長了金黃色的棒子,細細看去,仔細一瞧,好像在張嘴哈哈哈大笑,似乎在說:“看,我多么的強壯啊!”【評:用擬人句形象地描寫成熟的莊稼。】
    一陣歡聲笑語伴隨著轟隆隆的機器聲,農民伯伯來收割莊稼了。他們的臉上露出了豐收的喜悅,一邊說著一邊笑著,嘴都合不攏了,爽朗的笑聲在田野里回蕩。【評:農民的欣喜。】
    山腳下的果園里,那更是絢麗多彩。瞧,那一個個大大的蘋果,紅彤彤的,像羞紅臉的小姑娘;一個個的大鴨梨黃澄澄的,著實好像透黃透黃的大葫蘆。“撲通”一聲,一個成熟的鴨梨掉了下來;一個個圓圓的桔子橙紅橙紅的,和那天上紅紅的太陽那叫一個像;一串串葡萄紫瑩瑩的,像一串串的珍珠,煞是好看。【評:果園里果實成熟了。】
    “呼呼呼!”一陣秋風吹來,把瓜果的香味帶到了遠方,只要你深深地吸一口氣,就感到空氣都是甜的,都是香的。【評:香飄四溢。】
    秋天的聲音太美妙了,如果你仔細去聽,會聽到千萬種不同的聲音。到時候,你會知道,大自然有多么強大,什么東西都能創造出來美妙的聲音來
    評語
    文章先描寫秋風、秋雨后的景色:秋風一吹,“樹上的葉子像蝴蝶一樣的飄落下來,地上落了一層厚厚的樹葉,像鋪上一層金黃的地毯,人們踩在上面發出沙沙沙的響聲,就像一首優美的音樂……”一場秋雨過后,“草枯萎了,花兒謝了,大地一片凋零,沒有了生機,人們穿上了秋裝。河邊的青蛙再也不叫了,鉆進了泥土里,準備冬眠……”然而秋天的景并不都是這樣的凄涼,也有著它的美麗。那就一派豐收的景象。你看:“谷子低著頭彎著腰……那火紅的高粱,像喝醉酒的漢子,臉紅彤彤的,腳都站不穩……那玉米,伸長了金黃色的棒子……好像在張嘴哈哈哈大笑”。果園更是另一番迷人的景象:“蘋果,紅彤彤的,像羞紅臉的小姑娘;一個個的鴨梨黃澄澄的,著實好像透黃透黃的大葫蘆……一個個圓圓的桔子橙紅橙紅的……一串串葡萄紫瑩瑩的……”兩幅豐收圖,各有不同,寫莊稼著重寫它的姿態,寫果實著重寫它的顏色。
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