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  • 內容詳情

    說服的智慧

    時間:2019-07-02 21:27:28  作者:  來源  查看:0
    說服的智慧
    朱世豪
    “哦,我終于勝利了!姥姥。”“嗯,外孫子真厲害,我甘拜下風!”這是姥姥第一次被我說服啦!【評:倒敘開頭,引人入勝。】
    那是一天的中午,我正在津津有味地玩著手機,突然,姥姥走過來,趁(我)機不備,一把搶過我的手機,接著就嘮叨起來:“你怎么還玩手機呢?有時間還不如看看書和讀英語呢!你瞅瞅你那英語,天天錯,不知道啊……”【評:事情的起因,姥姥不許“我”玩手機。】
    哎呀,嘮叨大神開始了!我捂住了耳朵,抬頭一望,只見姥姥的嘴巴一張一合,(雖聽不到)不知道她在說什么,(但)我知道以后我想玩手機那可是難上加難了!【評:“我”不喜歡聽姥姥的嘮叨,寫得十分形象。】
    幾天后的放學,我寫完作業就開始看書,看來我與手機無緣了,可是我心里還是一直癢癢著,總是期盼著什么時候能重新征戰“王者峽谷”!【評:雖不能玩,但心里還惦記著。】
    我苦苦地尋找著機會,終于機會來了,(這次)我一定要把握住。那天,我考試考了第一名。【評:機會:考試第一。】
    姥姥高興得眉開眼笑,主動問我:“你想要什么?姥姥什么都可以答應嘛,只要我能做的,什么都可以。”【評:姥姥說“什么都可以”,成了“我”玩手機的借口。】
    我一看有門了,(便)我脫口而出:“好,那我要玩手機!”【評:“脫口而出”,用得好。】
    “什么?玩手機不行!”【評:姥姥將玩手機排出在外。】
    “哼,你還說你能做到的都可以,難道你要撒謊嗎?”【評:“我”抓住姥姥說話的漏洞不放。】
    一句話把姥姥說沒電了,可頑固的姥姥又給我提出了條件,設置了障礙:“不行,你期末時再考第一,我就讓你玩,行嗎?”一桿子就支到了期末。【評:再設障礙,提出新的要求。】
    (期末)考試前,我背水一戰,終于我考了第一名,實現了姥姥給我(制定)的目標。我興高采烈地回到家,大喊道:“期末考試考了第一名,噢耶!姥姥,這回可以玩手機了吧!”【評:“背水一戰”用詞恰當。】
    “嗯!”沒想到老姥姥的態度一下子嚴肅起來,臉陰沉沉的,開始教育起來我來:“玩手機有什么用啊,長大后沒有文憑,怎么養活你爸爸、媽媽,甚至連自己都養活不了。玩手機就會讓你入迷,就不好好學習了。”【評:姥姥沒有兌現承諾。】
    一聽這話,我的心一下子又涼了,不行,這次我一定要說服姥姥。于是,想到這兒,我做了一個深呼吸,像諸葛亮舌戰群儒一樣,來到了正在做飯的姥姥前,說:“哼,姥姥,你身為一個大人,應該為我們(孩子)做榜樣,說話算數。而你卻不履行自己的承諾,還教訓起我來了。我要什么都可以,只要你能做的就行,這可是你說的。做人要守信,一言既出,駟馬難追。”我說完后,再看姥姥,臉騰的一下紅了,無言以對。【評:言之有理,切中要害。】
    “好吧,那你玩兒吧!”姥姥終于答應了。【評:姥姥被說服了。】
    “噢耶,我贏了!”(我)長出了一口氣,拿起手機我如愿以償地玩了起來。【評:“長出了一口氣”,說明勝利來之不易。】
    哈哈!我又重現“絕地海島”,重征“王者峽谷”,玩得酣暢淋漓,優哉游哉,好不快活!
    評語
    故事情節生動曲折,可謂一波三折。能玩上手機,實則不易,經過了那么多的困難。期中考試,“我”考了第一名,姥姥答應給“我”獎勵,并說“只要我能做到的,什么都可以。”然而當“我”提出要玩手機時,姥姥卻改口了:“玩手機不行”。怎么能玩到手機呢?姥姥又設置了條件:“你期末時再考第一,我就讓你玩。”期末考試,“我”背水一戰,拿到了第一名,可姥姥又講述了一大堆理由,不同意“我”玩手機。“我”據理力爭,“義正言辭”地說服了姥姥。歷盡艱難,“我”終于玩上了手機。俗話說:“人貴直,文貴曲。”有曲折,有波瀾的文章才更吸引人,本文戲劇性的情節,讓文章波瀾起伏,很引人入勝。
    上一篇:沒有了 下一篇:說服的智慧
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