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    我心中的英雄

    時間:2019-07-02 20:24:33  作者:  來源  查看:0
     我心中的英雄
     魏心楠
    每個人的心中,都有一個頂天立地的英雄,而我心中有一個人,全中國的很多人都認識這位英雄,這也讓我更加地崇敬他。【評:留下懸念。】
    我認識他的時候,是在語文的課文上,題目是《董存瑞舍身炸暗堡》。【評:點出英雄人物。】
    故事發生在解放戰爭的1948年,19歲(的他壯烈)犧牲了。【評:生卒年份。】
    董存瑞,1929年生,河北省懷來縣人,出生于貧苦的農民家庭。13歲時,曾機智地掩護區委書記躲過侵華日軍的追捕,而被譽為抗日小英雄。1945年7月參加了八路軍,后任某部六班的班長。1947年3月加入中國共產黨。【評:董存瑞的生平簡介。】
    (故事發生在)1948年(的)故事發生在解放戰爭時期,共產黨領導的解放軍攻打被國民黨占領的隆化中學。一天,解放軍正在沖鋒準備殺向敵軍司令部時,敵人的陣地突然噴出了六條火舌,我軍戰士不得不被槍彈(壓)在了土包下,而抬不起頭來。敵人在一座橋的上面,修筑了一個暗堡。靠現有的火力,我軍根本打不到他們。這可把我們的戰士都急的不得了。“怎么辦?怎么辦?”部隊首長不停的(地)叨嘮著。【評:暗堡成了前進的巨大障礙,為下文炸暗堡做好了鋪墊。】
    此時,董存瑞堅定說:“首長,讓我去炸掉這座暗堡吧!”首長想了又想,最后同意了。“拿著手雷掩護我!”董存瑞喊道。此時,他剛跑幾米,戰士們聽到了命令,便接二連三的(地)扔著手雷,(來掩護董存瑞。)【評:主動請戰,將生死置置之度外。】
    董存瑞夾著藥包,不停的(地)奔跑,20米、10米……馬上快到了!可是敵人(還在)瘋狂掃射,子彈打到了他的腿上,流著(出了)鮮紅的血。可他不害怕,繼續向前。爬到了暗堡,(炸藥包放在哪里?)如果放在墻上,會滑下來;放在河床上,又炸不到暗堡。怎么辦?此時他一手托著炸藥包,另只手把導火線一拉。火花照亮了他那鋼筑一般的臉。“砰”的一聲,暗堡炸毀了。戰士們如潮水一般(沖向隆化中學,很快戰斗就)取得勝利。【評:沖到暗堡下,舍身炸毀暗堡。】
    我讀了這篇課文,深受感動,董存瑞的精神值得我們去學習。
    評語
    文章首尾呼應,結構嚴謹。文章介紹了董存瑞的生平,講述了他舍身炸暗堡的經過,刻畫出董存瑞無所畏懼、英勇獻身的光輝形象,字里行間流露出小作者對董存瑞的贊美和崇敬之情。不足:感想和體會沒有寫。這類文章不能單一地敘述故事情節,還要寫自己的感想和體會以及自己向英雄學習的決心。
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