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    大自然的聲音

    時間:2019-07-01 19:55:05  作者:  來源  查看:0
    大自然的聲音


    你聽過優美的歌曲,聽過(感人)刺激的演講會,聽過熱血沸騰的搖滾曲,可你聽過大自然的聲音嗎?【評:用排比句,引出文章的主題。】
    大自然的聲音有很多。一大清早,媽媽就把我從美夢中拉了出來:“大兒子,醒醒啊!走,去樹林聽聽大自然的聲音。”
    “讓我再睡一會兒!”
    “快點給我起來!”就這樣,我和媽媽一起去了樹林,來傾聽大自然的聲音。【評:事情發生的時間和起因。】
    我們來到了郊外,這里的樹木很茂盛。聽,“沙沙……”這是風吹樹葉的聲音。“呼呼……”風在咆哮。(樹上的)小鳥在“嘰嘰嘰”地叫著,好像在說:“你好啊!你好啊!”【評:聽到的聲音有:樹葉的響聲、風聲和鳥鳴聲。】
    這時,原本萬里無云、陽光明媚的天氣,忽然一陣風刮來,飄來了一大片的烏云,還下起了大雨。聽,雷公生氣了,“轟隆隆……”“嘩嘩……”下雨聲在耳邊響起。“下雨了,我們趕緊回家!”(媽媽說。于是,我們向樹林外走去。)過了一會兒雨小了。【評:夏日的雨變化無常,說來就來,說走就走。】
    剛走到馬路上,雨停了,天晴了,太陽出來了。天邊出現了一條美麗的彩虹,赤橙黃綠青藍紫,五光十色,瑰麗無比,漂亮極了。【評:雨后的美景。】
    雨后,路邊花壇里的花兒更加艷麗了,紅的似火,粉的如霞,白的像雪……“嗡嗡……”這時耳邊響了了密(蜜)蜂的叫聲,蜜蜂好像在說:“我今年一定要勤奮,多采些蜂(蜜)密,送給貧困山區的小朋友們。”【評:寫花壇里的蜜蜂,想象豐富。】
    “賣魚了,新鮮的向海魚啊!”啊,原來我和媽媽已經(走)到了菜市場。這里好熱鬧啊!道路兩旁擺著一大堆一大堆的蔬菜,有水靈靈的大白菜,烏黑發亮的茄子,像紅燈籠一樣的西紅柿,尖尖的像羊角似的辣椒……各種蔬菜,應有盡有。【評:描寫菜市場的景色。】
    “汪汪”,我一回頭,只見一只小狗在叫,誰家的小狗跑到菜市場了。多么可愛的一只小狗啊!金色的皮毛,大大的眼睛。(它)抬著頭望著我,輕輕地叫了幾聲:“汪汪。”好像要跟我說著什么。我走上前,想去摸它,它卻嗖的一聲跑了。【評:狗的叫聲引起了“我”的注意。】
    “突突……”一輛四輪車駛來,里面裝滿了穿著條紋外衣的大西瓜,一個個比籃球還大。“賣西瓜了,不甜不要錢!”主人這么一吆喝,很多人都圍了過去,挑著選著,個個都抱著一個大西瓜滿足地回家了。【評:四輪車駛來,機器的轟鳴聲、瓜農的叫賣聲混在一起。】
    啊,大自然的聲音真奇妙啊!
    評語
    文章從第二段開始,小作者按照地點的變換的順序寫了多處的景物,寫每一處景物時,都注意用擬聲詞來寫所聽到的聲音,這也就符合文題的要求。看,來到樹林,聽到的是風吹樹葉的沙沙聲、呼呼的風聲,還有樹上小鳥的嘰嘰的鳴叫聲。下雨了,轟隆隆的雷聲,嘩嘩的雨聲在耳邊響起。走進菜市場,小販的叫賣聲、四輪車的突突聲,還有小狗的叫聲,多種聲音混合在一起,讓人覺得“這大自然的聲音真奇妙”!文中既寫聲音,又寫景色;既寫實在事物,又寫由此而產生的聯想,使得內容豐富,并充滿童真和趣味。比喻修辭手法的運用也恰到好處,充分體現了小作者細致入微的觀察能力和匠心獨運的觀察視角。
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