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  • 內容詳情

    我是小導游

    時間:2019-06-30 19:45:47  作者:  來源  查看:0
    我是小導游

    大家好,我是大家的小導游,我叫王晨熙。今天我要(帶領)鄰你們去個地方,那就是我家的商場——繁華(超市)。【評:介紹“我”和參觀的地方,開篇點題。】
    我家的繁華有可好多(的商品)東西呢,烈(例)如:最新的玩具、(美味的)零食和最好玩的電玩……(各種各樣的商品,琳瑯滿目,)反正你要什么就有什么。好了,咱們現在去一樓參觀!【評:總寫商品之多:應有盡有。】
    到了一樓,第一眼就能看到的,就是一位賣彩票的老奶奶。你們猜猜她是我的誰啊?嘿嘿,那是我的老姨奶呀!我經常上那里去玩呢!(那里)不既只有賣彩票的,還有賣草藥的、賣香煙的、賣學習用品的等等,可多可多了。在(再)往里走一走,就進入了商場。【評:走進超市大門所見的情景。】
    (走進)商場一樓(,來到了食品區,只見貨架上擺滿了五顏六色、包裝精美的小食品,還有各種口味的飲料。很多食品的包裝就是一個精美的小玩具,因此這里)就是小孩子的天堂了。幾乎我每次進去,都能聽到小孩子們的大喊聲:“給我買!給我買!”這些小孩子可太有趣了。【評:孩子喜歡的,想買,不外乎這樣兩種商品:一是玩具,二是小食品。】
    二樓是衣服的世界,那里的衣服都是(最)全新(流行的款式)的,(很時髦,也很漂亮)保證你挑了這件又想要那件。二樓每天都吸引很多靚女帥男前來選購自己喜歡的服裝,將自己打扮得更加美麗、帥氣。雖然二樓也是人們最喜歡的樓層,但是不代表小孩子也喜歡。【評:二樓是服裝區,受到年輕人的青睞。】
    第三層樓,那可是小孩子的(樂園)天堂了。這里(各種各樣)玩的(設備應有盡有,)有電玩、淘氣包、V尺電競、9D電影,還有輪滑……一到節假日,孩子們都來到這里,在自己喜歡的游戲器材上盡情地玩耍。整座大樓都回蕩著孩子們的歡笑聲。【評:這里是孩子的樂園。】
    三樓還是美食城呢,吃的美食(數不勝數。)有麻辣燙、麻辣香鍋、旋轉小火鍋、壽司、過橋米線、烤腸、烤冷面等等;小孩子們在這里從來沒有哭過,只有笑聲。每當我來時都會聽到小孩子們的歡聲笑語。這里還有我的一個兄弟,他叫王雨強,戴著一(副)個明亮的眼鏡,穿著整齊的衣服和褲子,(別看他打扮得干凈利落,但)還是沒我帥呢,哈哈哈!【評:應寫一寫這些美食如何好吃,人們吃時的神態。】
    好了,親愛的游客們,我也講完了,你們也該(大致了解我家的這座超市)認識了。我在這里我坐著休息一會兒,你們先去隨便走一走,看一看,過了一個小時后,在這里集合。【評:結束語,宣布自由活動。】
    (我的導游結束了,只見)游客們點了點頭。過了一個小時,游客們都到齊了。他們有的買了漂亮的裙子或褲子,有的買了玩具或美食。我開心的(地)笑起來:“好了,咱們走吧!”于是,我和游客們開心地走了。
    評語
    本文為“我”家的一座超市寫的導游詞,小作者按照行走路線,對所見的情景進行了逐一介紹。先講走進大門,介紹大門兩側的攤位;再分別講一二三樓所經營的商品或設施。一樓是食品區、二樓是服裝區、三樓是美食區和游樂園。每層樓都有哪些商品,人們所喜歡的程度如何都做了介紹
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