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    大自然的聲音

    時間:2019-06-30 19:40:06  作者:  來源  查看:0
    大自然的聲音

    在我們的身邊,不管什么時候都有各種各樣的聲音。不管是什么聲音,在我看來都是那樣美妙的。【評:兩個“不管”寫出了大自然聲音無時不在、美妙動人。】
    早晨,我睜開朦朧的睡眼,就聽到了廚房里發出了“嘩嘩”的水聲,媽媽正在洗菜呢,在給我做早餐呢。不一會兒,“噼里啪啦”地響了起來,油在鍋里跳起了優美的舞蹈。媽媽把洗好的菜放到鍋里,“嚓嚓嚓”,媽媽拿著鏟刀,來來回回地翻炒著鍋里的菜。不一會兒,一盤香噴噴的菜肴就出鍋了。【評:把炒菜不同階段的不同聲音,用擬聲詞形象地表達出來。】
    吃過早飯,媽媽帶著我去上學。走到林蔭路上,“嘰嘰嘰嘰”,小鳥在樹上叫了起來,它們好像在對我說:“小朋友,早上好,讀書可要用功啊!少壯不努力。老大徒傷悲。”【評:既寫實在的事物,又寫由此產生的聯想,內容豐富。】
    走了不遠兒,看見了一個垃圾點。“嘩啦啦!”好多人正在往里倒垃圾。一股臭味撲鼻而來,我和奶奶趕緊捂住了鼻子,加快了腳步。【評:寫現實生活中的情景。】
    “賣油炸糕了!賣油炸糕了!”一個叔叔騎著一輛帶棚子的摩托車,一邊行駛,一邊吆喝著。我看見一位老奶奶走上前,買了五個油炸糕,這就是她的早餐吧!【評:聽到有人喊賣早點的聲音,并對其人進行了描寫。】
    一陣瑯瑯的讀書聲傳來,哦,我已經到學校了。同學們正在晨讀,“好雨知時節,當春乃發生。隨風潛入夜,潤物細無聲”在校園上空回蕩著。【評:來到學校時,聽到的讀書聲。】
    我加快了腳步,走進了教室,開始了新的一天的學習生活。
    評語
    這篇文章按照地點的變換可以分為三部分:一是在家里,二是在上學路上,三是走進校園。在家里,寫了媽媽奶炒菜時的各種聲音;在路上,寫了小鳥鳴叫聲、人們倒垃圾聲、賣早點的叫賣聲;走進校園,聽到瑯瑯的讀書聲。在寫時,作者不僅寫聽到的聲音,還寫了看到的景物,并添加了一些合理的想象,使人文章內容豐富具體。
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