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    大自然的聲音

    時間:2019-06-30 19:38:31  作者:  來源  查看:0
    大自然的聲音

    清晨,我還在睡夢中,奶奶已經起床了,開始給我們做早餐。嘩嘩嘩地(的)放水聲,這聲音把我吵醒了。這時候,飯已經做好了,奶奶把(端)放在桌子上。飯菜的香味飄來,讓我胃口大開。我來到桌子前吃完了早飯,我背上書包,就向學校走去。【評:文章從“清晨”寫起,吵醒“我”的是嘩嘩的流水聲。】
    剛走出家門,就聽到了“沙沙”的聲音。我抬眼一望,是清潔工人在打掃著街道呢。清潔工真勤奮啊,這么早就開始工作了,好辛苦啊!【評:走出家門,聽到“沙沙”聲,是清潔工打掃街道。】
    這時一輛四輪車駛來,車上裝著滿滿的一車蔬菜,有水靈靈的綠瑩瑩的大白菜,烏黑發亮的茄子,像紅燈籠似的的西紅柿,尖尖的像羊角的辣椒……菜(農)民高聲(地)的喊著:“賣菜了!賣菜了!”這清脆的叫聲在大街小巷(里)回蕩。【評:路上行駛著拉菜的四輪車,聽到了一陣叫賣聲。】
    路邊花壇里的花開得正艷,你不讓我,我不讓你,紅的像火,粉的像霞,白的像雪……五彩繽紛。一陣嗡嗡的叫聲,總在我的耳邊響起,(原來是)蜜蜂一邊唱歌一邊采蜜,那歌聲好像在告訴我們:“今年我一定要多釀些蜜。”【評:走過路邊的花壇,聽到了蜜蜂的嗡嗡聲。】
    “咚咚!”一陣鑼鼓響起,路邊的小廣場上,一大群老爺爺、老奶奶正在扭著大秧歌。看,他們穿著大紅大綠的衣服,手里搖動著扇子,跳得好歡呀,好多(行)人停下了腳步在觀看。【評:路邊的廣場,咚咚的鑼鼓聲,老人們在扭著秧歌。】
    一陣瑯瑯的讀書聲傳來,哦,我已經到學校了。同學們正在晨讀:“好雨知時節,當春乃發生。隨風潛入夜,潤物細無聲”在校園上空回蕩。【評:來到學校,聽到了瑯瑯的讀書聲。】
    我加快了腳步,走進了教室,開始了新一天的學習生活。
    評語
    作者緊緊圍繞“大自然的聲音”這一中心,從清晨在家起床、再到上學的路上、最后來到學校三個不同的地點寫起,分別描寫了廚房里的放水聲、清潔工的打掃街道聲、菜農開著四輪車的叫賣聲、路邊花壇蜜蜂的嗡嗡聲、建筑工地上的機器轟鳴聲以及學校的讀書聲。文章不但寫聲還寫景,既寫實在事物,又以此寫聯想,生動細膩地描繪出了一幅幅有聲有色的畫面。
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